It Ends With Us
“There is no such thing as bad people. We’re all just people who sometimes do bad things,” says my 26-year-old, trying to justify her husband’s actions.
The bruised black eye and split lip give her a ghostly pale aura. Tears well up in my eyes.
“We all have a limit. What we’re willing to put up with before we break. With every incident …” I murmur. With every incident, we just get used to pushing the limit out further.
My mother went through it. I went through it. I’ll be damned if I allow my daughter to go through it.
Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles, rather than facing the fear of jumping and possibly not landing on your feet. Many marriages, be it the men or families or their own upbringings and conditioning, restrict women from forging an identity of their own and becoming independent –– be it financially or emotionally. Several families do not even support their daughters.
People spend so much time wondering why the women don’t leave. I am guilty of having thought this too. It’s easy for me as an outsider to think so. But then, with this book – It Ends with Us, by Colleen Hoover, I am slowly breaking that cycle of thought, so I can be more supportive and not question someone’s effort who’s already trying to do their best under the circumstances. Where are all the people who wonder why the men are even abusive? Isn’t that where the only blame should be placed?
Note: Everything italicized in the content above is a direct quote from the book! The author owns all copyrights to those.